I’m not okay, but that’s okay?

CW burn-out, depression, self-harm, chronic pain, menstruation You may be wondering what I mean with my title. I'll do my best to explain this. Thing is, I haven't been doing too well lately. And that's okay. By okay, I don't mean I deserve to not be okay. I just mean that suffering is not a taboo. I won't …

A look into heritage: a short essay on the Lombok treasury

'We owe it to all generations of the past, present and future to share history and culture in its full context.'

Advice for dealing with health care providers

After some thinking and after discussing things with my boyfriend (a med student) and my mom (who has similar problems to mine), as well as on Twitter, I decided to write this post to hopefully help those like me who need health care and have difficulty in dealing with health care providers. These are my …

Update: Autism Acceptance Month, Aro Ace April and Camp NaNoWriMo

It's April 2nd today, which means: We survived April Fools (or did we?) It's Autism Acceptance Month It's Aro Ace Month It's time for Camp NaNoWriMo Reading wise, Becca's Book Realm is hosting the #AutisticPrideMonth: Description: bingo slots include: ownvoices rep scifi or fantasy romance indie or self-published queer author or rep by an autistic …

Getting personal: money and mental health

Content warnings: money, anxiety, panic attacks, suicide I figured that since I've been complaining about money for a while now on Twitter, I might as well elaborate on my problems with money. I'm from what I consider a middle-class family. We had the basics, my parents made ends meet every month, but not without struggle. …

Autism Acceptance Month: my contribution

April is coming near, and so, it is almost Autism Acceptance Month. You may have heard of Autism Awareness Month, of Autism Speaks, of Light it up Blue... So let me make something clear: Autism Speaks does not speak for us autistic people. Allow me to share this flyer (courtesy of The Autistic Self Advocacy …

Getting Personal: Umbrella Terms

I recently discovered that I prefer using umbrella terms, instead of more specific terms, to identify myself. Identity is a hard thing to grasp, even harder when you deal with imposter syndrome. For those unfamiliar with these things: imposter syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as …

Review: The Wicked King by Holly black

Goodreads 5/5 sparkling stars *Spoilers for Cruel Prince* Summary Wicked King picks up shortly after the end of Cruel Prince, with Cardan as King of Faerie, bound to Jude Duarte for exactly one year and a day. Acting as the King's seneschal as the power behind the throne, Jude struggles with Faerie politics and Cardan's …

Personal writing: poems

Last year, I started writing poetry. Today, I added more poems to the collection I started. I have no plans for this, but I wish to share some of them with you. Be warned, as these poems may be triggering to autistic people and/or people who have experienced anxiety and/or depression. Stay safe. The poems: …

Getting personal: diagnoses and identity: I am autistic

I was diagnosed with Asperger's and social anxiety at the age of 13. They changed my diagnoses to Autism Spectrum Disorder with symptoms of depression when I was 16* I was re-diagnosed by my new mental health care provider at the age of 18 with Autism Spectrum Disorder. *This is around the time when they …

Review: Of Fire and Starts by Audrey Coulthurst

Goodreads 4/5 fiery stars for a f/f fantasy novel with a forbidden romance. "...I knew that given the chance to do everything over again, I would willingly make the same mistakes twenty times over.”  Of Fire and Stars is one of those books that gets better as you keep reading, in my opinion. Of course, I …

Getting personal: Dreams versus Reality part I: Teenage Writer

You can find the books mentioned below on the Goodreads Author page I made back then (shame shame shame) I felt like writing a piece on hopes and dreams versus reality, so here you go: I'm at that age now where people consider me an adult and expect me to be able to make decisions …

Review: The Place Inside the Storm by Bradley W. Wright

Goodreads 4/5 stars for a Scifi/Dystopian novel with a very relatable and ownvoices autistic main character. "Being weird is okay." There are two words which are very prominent in my notes for this ARC: same and relatable. The way Tara felt emotions from her parents wash over her, the way her sister Zoie said she …

Getting personal: emotion regulation

Trigger warnings: anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts This is a bunch of rambling, so read it at your own risk. Part of me doesn't want to write this, but I feel like it might help me, and hopefully others. Right now, I'm shaking, I have a weird feeling in my chest, I feel the urge to …

Review: The Savior’s Champion by Jenna Moreci

3/5 stars for a book I had high expectations for, perhaps too high. The Savior's Champion can be described as a Spartacus: Blood and Sand meets The Maze Runner. There's a lot of blood, tits, swearing and wine as well as a cliché cardboard 'heroic' main character and barely any worldbuilding for the first half …

Writing: The Girl in Man’s Armor

Dalila joins the war disguised as her brother Don, taking his place, in order to save him. If they find out she’s not actually her brother, she’ll be executed, but it’s more likely a soldier, magician, or dragon will kill her first. That’s one of my current pitches for The Girl in Man’s Armor, the …